“Ideally, everyone at an art fair ends up feeling diminished. It’s rough out there on the floor. Talent, status, ambition, and greed duke it out. Nobody knows who is winning because the ground is always shifting,” writes Vanity Fair’s Dave Hickey in a column that reflects on Frieze Art Fair, in London, and prepares for Art Basel Miami Beach. “For the first 15 years of my life as a fairgoer, the vernissage held the day before the opening, now called ‘collectors’ preview,’ was sotto voce. People dropped by for a drink, a little gossip, and maybe a drawing. As fairs begin to overtake biennials as places to be seen, invitations become more and more urgently coveted. At the zenith of lunacy, fairs opened their doors to swirling prides of tycoons, yachtsmen, and power widows.”

Those in the pride are sure to be busy this week. Forgetting entirely about the accompanying events, the conflicting schedule of art fair openings is enough to make anyone’s day planner a mess of overlapping fabulousness.

Design Miami/’s Vernissage will take place tomorrow from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m., while nearby, In Fashion Photo will have its Vernissage opening at 7 p.m., hosted by Naomi Campbell and David LaChapelle, whose own exhibition Jesus is My Homeboy opens the same night nearby at Wolfgang Roth & Partners Fine Art, also at 7 p.m. Gary Nader will host his grand exhibition opening the same evening, starting at 7 p.m., brought to you courtesy of this magazine. Before that, expect to find some cougars circling at the RED Dot VIP preview, from 3 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Art Basel Miami Beach’s Vernissage is Wednesday at 5 p.m., and Scope’s First View will be from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.. ART ASIA’s VIP Preview will occur at the swanky Mandarin Oriental from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.  There are more openings that I am sure we are forgetting entirely. Sorry.

All of these events are, of course, by invitation only.